Felix hits a home run


Junior Emu #3 has never been a great fan of team sports. In fact, his first instinct when seeing a ball is to move at great speed in the opposite direction. And bats and racquets are largely used as props to recreate Abba concerts.

So it was with a little surprise that I heard about his success yesterday on the rounders field, in which he hit the winning run.

“It was quite simple, Dad”, he said.

“The first ball hit me on the head, which was a bit disappointing. But I connected with the second one, and hit it towards my friend Katy, because I know she can’t catch. So it went past her while I started running. Then, the fielder threw the ball to Michael, who has special needs. He caught it, but fortunately he thought he was on the same side as me, so held on to it while I completed the run.”

Ah, the benefits of a comprehensive education.

Mind the gap

A short observation based on a delightful train journey last weekend, in which we travelled first class from Norwich to Edinburgh for next to nothing, fuelled constantly by smiling rail staff wielding teas and coffees at each stop. lounging back in comfortable seats and enjoying a spot of free wi-fi. I’m not being sarcastic – it was fab.

Anyway, when visiting the train toilet, which was one of those strange Tardis constructions when you’re never really clear whether you’re locked in or not, I noticed that all of the signs were in English and Braille. This was the case for the flush, the tap, the soap…and the baby changing unit.

Now, I don’t quite understand these things, and I’m sure needs must, but under what circumstances on a high speed train would you expect a blind person to use this ?

One of us is Lying

Waiting in an office for a meeting on Thursday, I noticed copies of The Daily Mail and The Times.

Having been in London the previous day, and having managed to avoid the protest marches, I was interested in how they’d turned out. Unsurprisingly, the focus was very much on the disruption and violence accompanying the marches, and the following photo and caption was on the front page of the Mail:

Interestingly, inside the Times, there was a similar picture, probably taken just a few seconds before or after. In fact, I might even guess that they were taken by the same photographer. In the Times picture, however, there are a couple of subtle differences. The protestor is backing off, and holding his arm up for protection. The second policemen from the left has his riot stick raised. And, well I never, it looks like the protestor is wearing a jacket, that’s been removed by the time the picture above is taken. Incidentally, I also read in the article that there was a lot of red paint being thrown about, which made everything much more dramatic.

Now, far be it from me to suggest compromise in the fourth estate, let alone go off on an anti Daily Mail rant. But I can’t help feeling that we’ve been a bit set up here.

And if we’re being set up on something as important as the right to protest against financial meltdown and climate change, that doesn’t feel terribly good. By the by, this also feeds into my blog which I really must write down, on Why Telling People What They Already Believe Is Bad. But that’s for another time.

It’s Good To Be Back (not)

I’m not absolutely sure how this current stream of consciousness will end, but a funny thing happened to me while walking through Prague last weekend with Mrs Emu.

I heard a song I couldn’t quite place. Then, the horrible dawning that it was Gary Glitter singing, rather ironically, about wanting me to be in his gang.

So a number of things struck me, all in a very short space of time:
– for a fleeting moment, just before I realised what the song was, I enjoyed it, thinking ‘I’ve not heard this for a while’…
– then very quickly chastised myself for enjoying the work of someone who, let’s face it, is a pretty despicable individual…
– then felt slightly miffed that the person in the shop with the music on hadn’t realised that civilised people just don’t listen to GG any more for very good reason….
– then began to wonder the degree to which we should separate or integrate what we think of people with their artistic output…

Which is where I got a bit stuck. So we just don’t hear anything by the Glitter Band any more , which is kind of understandable, up to the point at which we deny people the pleasure of listening to some fantastic glam rock self-deprecation.

At the other extreme, we listen innocently enough to music that, for all we know, might be being played by Nazi sympathisers, Paedophiles, or…well, actually most other things are pretty ok in Rock n Roll.

Sometimes a terrible dawning hits you like a brick after you’ve been enjoying the music, then you feel obliged to discard, or end up listening to it with an apologetic grimace. To my knowledge, this has happened to me three times in my listening career (Herbert von Karajan, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Eric Clapton, seeing as you ask), and I genuinely find it difficult to listen to those artists any more without thinking of their political or moral views. But I’m probably enjoying listening to output produced by even more extreme individuals without knowing it.

So maybe we should just completely separate the political from the music. But then we wouldn’t have Bessie Smith, Woody Guthrie or Billy Bragg, and the world would be a worse place for that.

So, as I say, I’m stuck in this stream. I rather fear that the answer will be that we should always have an eye on the alignment of the artist’s views, but there’s probably a degree of forgiveness along the madness/genius axis. Which still doesn’t help your correspondant, who ironically has just found himself tapping his feet along to Rockin’ Robin by Michael Jackson…which is a fantastic song that I’d really like to recommend, but…

The luxury of airline travel

Here is a list of personalities I would rather not sit next to on a packed plane:

1. The horrendously overweight. I have nothing against fat people (actually, that’s a lie, but let’s not digress for now), but I really don’t want to be wedged between them and the window, or have them mould themselves into me in a confined space.

2. People with a colds. I know that you can’t really help having a cold when you have to travel…but you can pretty much guarantee that you’ll be passing it on to at least one of your fellow passengers, particularly now that air con & air flow seems to be a thing of the past on aeroplanes.

3. Members of a hilarious stag party who have decided that fancy dress would be a great way to ingratiate themselves into the Czech Republic.

4. As above, but having decided to start drinking at breakfast.

5. As above, but liberally distributed around the plane on account of being late out of the bar, so keen to keep up their merry/abusive/misogynistic stag party banter across a dozen seat rows.

On my last Sleazyjet flight, I managed to get 5 out of 5. Flying can be a truly unpleasant experience.

More irony

Greetings from Prague, where it seems that the world of irony has many many forms. Here are two:

1. The Museum of Communism, although well worth a visit for the footage of the velvet revolution alone, is run down and staffed by pretty miserable individuals…and situated directly over a McDonalds

2. One of the most important parts of Prague’s history is the Jewish cemetery. You have to pay to get in.

Two ironic things

Thing One:

There is no ironic content in Alanis Morrisette’s song ‘Ironic’.

This is a) useful to know, and b) a potential intro to the wonderful world of graphjam.com, which I heartily recommend to you all

Thing Two:

We are currently on holiday in (very) rural France. The two things we had to buy today were toothpaste and onions. So we went to the very very small Tabac in the very very small village nearby. No onions to be found, but we did get some toothpaste.

A style icon, briefly

Travelled to That London yesterday and visited our shiny new offices in Jermyn Street. If you’ve not been to Jermyn Street, you really should take the time. Some of the shops there seem to have entirely ignored this, all of the 20th and a fair chunk of the 19th century, and are still selling the sort of gear that would suit the….well, the only word I can think of is ‘dandy’.

In fact, really close to our office is a statue of Beau Brummell, a sort of Russell Brand of his day, although obviously without the radio phone-in. Or the hilarious line in wacky mysogynism. Anyway, Beau Brummell is credited with inventing the man’s suit and tie, and much more that passes for western ‘style’. He claimed to take at least 5 hours to get dressed in the morning, thereby beating most other men by around 4 hrs 55min. Anyway, his influence is absolutely felt on Jermyn Street, which has all manner of small men’s outfitters, with the most amazing shirts, socks, cufflinks, waistcoats and dressing gowns on display – hugely desirable and beautifully made, although I suspect they might look better in the window than on the customer. I’ve only just started going past these shops in the last few weeks, and already I have the strangest hankerings for long extravagant socks and a smoking jacket.

So it seems only right and proper to make an effort when travelling to London, as I like to think that life is too short to look scruffy in such historic company. And, this morning, in exceptionally pointy shoes, and overcoat, I will admit that I thought I was cutting rather a dash (as they probably don’t say in the shops around these parts).

So I really thought my time as a style icon had come, when a gentleman in a tweed jacket fell into step beside me as I walked out of the office to get a cab.

(He) ‘Well, sir, it’s not often I see someone as beautifully coordinated as you, looking like a true gentleman, along Jermyn Street”

(Me, slightly worried) “Err, thanks”

(He, beginning to sound like a Lionel Bart character) “Yes indeed, I’m enjoying both the cut of your coat and the point of your shoe”

(Me, slightly alarmed that I might have been selected for some bizarre grooming project) “Err, thanks, you’re very kind”

Of course, at this stage, I was secretly Very Pleased Indeed. At last, recognised as the style icon I’d always hoped to be. Move over, Peter York….there’s a new kid in town and he’s wearing a big brown coat…

This reverie lasted for about 15 seconds, at which point my new friend tried to sell me a copy of The Big Issue. Ho hum.

The fat club

In 2006, the Health and Social Care Information Centre announced that one in four children in England were clinically obese.

From 1995 to 2004, obesity among boys aged 11-15 rose from 14% to 24% and girls from 15% to 26%.

The problem is not just a health and social one, although you would think that this would be enough to spur the nation into some sort of action. It’s also an economic one – currently obesity related illness costs the NHS around £1bn per year, plus an estimated £2.5bn cost to the overall economy. And it doesn’t look as if the problem is going to be easily contained. Here’s an example: while giving blood last week, I was speaking to one of the nurses who had just completed a dissertation on the challenges facing blood donations in 20 years time. He claimed that by 2050, around 60% of the population would be unable to give blood, largely due to obesity related disorders.

Obviously, the factors that contribute to this trend are seen as complex. For kids, they involve social context, diet (der…), lack of exercise in the school curriculum, transport, leisure activities, and so on. For adults, you could take most of these factors and repeat them, plus add a few – worse diets, really sedentary lifestyles, role models, food labelling etc.

The government announcement earlier this year that, having considered this epidemic, it was looking at putting £372m into schemes to reduce the problem should be welcomed, and amongst the plans are schemes to reward overweight people for eating a healthier diet.

Now, there’s a danger that I might come across as a bit of a health militant here, but it just doesn’t seem right that people should get themselves unfit and overweight then be financially rewarded for any corrective measure. I understand that you have to make schemes work, and anything that works to curb this trend should be applauded, but it doesn’t fit with the lack of reward for not making yourself obese in the first place.

To this end, my friend Steve has (largely to his surprise) had a petition accepted on the 10 Downing St petition site. At the time of writing, he has a massive 8 signatures, but given that he’s only told half a dozen people, it’s a start at least. You can see it at http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/healthyrewards/I don’t think Steve has got anything particularly negative to say about the problem, just a view that a positive healthy approach from the start might be a good counter.

And, I know the causes might be complicated, but then so were the reasons that it was so hard to stop people smoking in the UK, and that seems to be going in the right direction. Sometimes simple messages (smoking will deliver to you a lingering and unpleasant death, make your breath stink and turn you infertile) are quite effective. So maybe “take more exercise and eat less” ought to be the mantra for the future.

Not bumping into people

PeoplePosted by kevin Wed, November 26, 2008 22:57:07

My morning run to work goes past three secondary schools. One is the comprehensive that my elder kids go to, the second is a private school for girls, and the third is a huge comprehensive that, until recently, was under special measures and which has made some pretty impressive strides to return to a standard that it enjoyed in the past. Such is the way of the education system, and maybe more of this another time.

The (quite) interesting thing about this route is the way in which the pupils interact as they go to school. I tend to overtake the first crowd of children as they gather a larger and larger numbers, the closer they get to their destination, which is either the school gates, a side alley for a quick fag, or the sweet shop. This is a particularly useful route as it allows me to catch up with my second son, and deliver him the games kit/lunch/coat/book/brain that he leaves in the house at least twice a week. And perhaps because I know some of the kids, I can normally rely on them saying hello if they see me, or commenting on my propensity for wearing either running tights (a source of no small embarrassment to all of my children) or shorts.

A similar reaction from the kids going to the other comprehensive, who I tend to meet, as it were, head on. They’ll say hello, move out of the way if they’re blocking the path, and the particularly cheeky ones will shout out helpful and motivating messages – ‘Nice Legs!’

However, I do get a bit stuck when I have to run past the private school. None of these kids, it seems, walk to school. Fair enough, because of its nature, you expect most of them to travel in, but moving along the pavement is a constant hassle as the big doors of the Chelsea Tractors open without warning, as cellos (why cellos?!) are lumped onto the pavement, and as the girls, four abreast across the pavement and studiously avoiding eye contact, force me to run into the road.

I explained this dilemma to my friend G, who knows about such things, last weekend. Why is it, I asked, that these girls are such snobs that they completely ignore the people around them, and isolate themselves so much from their environment? Aha, she said, it’s a bit simpler than that. Her belief is that the pupils at this school have a life that revolves around school itself, their families, and friends of their families. Everything outside this is another world, and the lack of eye contact signifies nervousness at contact beyond their world, rather than aloofness.

It’s a bit of a shame, as, if G is right, then I shall have to suspend my plans to re-listen to all those Crass albums (maybe not such a shame then) and think about the waste of putting kids into education at massive expense, for them to be so ill at ease with the world around them.