The luxury of airline travel

Here is a list of personalities I would rather not sit next to on a packed plane:

1. The horrendously overweight. I have nothing against fat people (actually, that’s a lie, but let’s not digress for now), but I really don’t want to be wedged between them and the window, or have them mould themselves into me in a confined space.

2. People with a colds. I know that you can’t really help having a cold when you have to travel…but you can pretty much guarantee that you’ll be passing it on to at least one of your fellow passengers, particularly now that air con & air flow seems to be a thing of the past on aeroplanes.

3. Members of a hilarious stag party who have decided that fancy dress would be a great way to ingratiate themselves into the Czech Republic.

4. As above, but having decided to start drinking at breakfast.

5. As above, but liberally distributed around the plane on account of being late out of the bar, so keen to keep up their merry/abusive/misogynistic stag party banter across a dozen seat rows.

On my last Sleazyjet flight, I managed to get 5 out of 5. Flying can be a truly unpleasant experience.


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