What I did on my holidays (that I regret)

Five things:

1. Moving a very very very heavy stone bench up a hill, to get a better view.

2. In a very alpha-male way, keeping the resultant pain in my back quiet from Mrs Emu. Who is, by profession, a nurse. Specialising in pain management. And who had earlier advised that it was a stupid idea to try to lift said bench.

3. Trying to go for a run, to get the stiffness out of my back, a day later.

4. Not being able to sleep, getting up at 3.30 am, and making the mistake of looking at the Blackberry.

5. Discovering the source of our rodent problem in the kitchen at 3.35 am, and not being able to chase the little blighter, on account of my back not working.

All in all, not the best week to stop smoking.

However, am pleased to report that we now have a lovely and delightfully situated bench, upon which weary travellers can rest their chronic back problems. And we have tracked down the mouse to his/her hiding place in the cupboard with all the newspapers, where he/she had fashioned a splendid nest of supermarket receipts inside a shoe box. It only took 6 of us to catch him/her and encourage him/her into a cardboard box and away from the house. Whereupon Mrs E commented that it was by far the biggest mouse that she’d ever seen. Almost, in fact, the size of a r**.

The holiday continues…


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