Britain’s Got (nae) Talent

Well, I suppose there are some pretty easy targets here, but having been drawn into the festival of morbid entertainment that is BGT, why not point out the bleedin’ obvious:

1. Talent definition – I saw the BGT final and struggled to see any talent at all. To me, the true definition of talent includes a degree of originality. That’s why people pay a fortune to see their heroes rather than cheaper (and often more ‘accurate’ covers bands. So to see Susan Boyle mimic note for note ‘I dream a dream’ just didn’t do it for me.

2. And, while I’m about it, what is all of this obsession with ‘SuBo’? Here’s a couple of rather obvious comments:

– Amanda Holden’s much published ‘mouth open in astonishment at the wonder of Susan Boyle’s voice’ says more about AH than words can say. Yes, it’s possible to hold a tune without having well defined cheekbones.

– Anyone who saw Susan Boyle interviewed on TV by the duo midget laugh fest that is Ant and Dec and DIDN’T think ‘there’s someone who’s going to have some problems living in the public eye’ was, frankly, deluded

– And I could go on…

3. And don’t start me on Stavros Flatley. How does that fit the definition of talent, exactly?

4. And finally, a word for our judges:

– Simon Cowell’s response to the 11 year old who was filmed breaking down in tears was astonishing. Why do we need to see a child in this state? Well, the cynic might say so that SC can rise above the rules and say something like ‘come hell or high water, we’ll find time for you to sing that song again’. Which she did. So, tell me – why exactly did you have to show, on a pre-recorded show, the tears in the first place?

– Amanda Holden – who appeared, on final night, to have been styled by the director of a 50’s porn film, can only hope that her comments can aspire to being banal in future. Because they’re some way short of this at the moment.

– Piers Morgan – Judging the common hoi-polloi and refusing to take advantage for my own means? With my reputation?

Next week – why Alan Sugar doesn’t really matter.


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